Divorce Wizards

High Conflict Divorce Mediation

10 Tips for Surviving Divorce and Separation

By Shellee Moore MFT

Going through a separation or divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person can experience in a lifetime. Here are twelve steps to survival:
1. Manage your emotions - Stop the turmoil by using stress management techniques. Move from feelings to rational thinking.
2. Avoid making life altering decisions - Until you are thinking more clearly, put off plans to relocate or change jobs.
3. Reassure your kids - Your family life will continue, but in a different way. Go to the bookstore or library to find age appropriate books to explain separation and divorce to children.
4. Are you acting in the best interest of your child? Ask yourself this question. Keep arrangements as simple as possible and don't put kids in the middle.
5. Make a schedule - Make a list and target dates to help you feel more in control and less stressed. Delegate as much as possible.
6. Ask for help - Your family and friends will help if they know how. Be specific about how they can help. If you need professional help -- get it. Sometimes it's just too hard to get through this by yourself.
7. Be realistic - It's important to have realistic expectations and not to expect too much from yourself and everyone else when you are feeling so bad.
8. Take care of yourself - Get adequate sleep, eat healthy and exercise. Give yourself a break - you deserve it. Be protective of your need for solitude.
9. One day at a time - It gets easier. It gets better and hurts less as time passes. Spend time with others who understand what you're going through.
10. Grieve the loss - Separation and divorce is devastating. It takes time to recover. Allow yourself to grieve.
Shellee Moore, M.F.T.
20 Corporate Park, Suite 215
Irvine, CA 92606

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