Divorce Wizards

High Conflict Divorce Mediation

Top Ten Ways to Protect Yourself from a Snooping Spouse

By John Paul Lucich

So here are some dos and don'ts. Some of these may not apply if you are not living with your spouse. That may not stop them from gaining access to crucial information, however, so make decisions wisely and leave nothing to chance.

  • Don't give anyone (attorney or expert) your home phone number, or they may end up leaving you a message that will be discovered by your spouse. Use your cell phone to receive calls.
  • Don't have any products or correspondence related to your divorce proceeding mailed to your home. Have them mailed to a post office box or sent to a friend's house. Even if your spouse no longer lives with you, they may drive by when you are not at home and review your mail.
  • Purchase a document shredder if you do not have one and take the time to shred all important papers that you no longer plan to keep regarding your findings or communications between you and your attorney or expert. Never throw any important documents out in the garbage. Yes, spouses do look through the garbage.
  • Never do any divorce research on a computer that is kept in the home. Your spouse may review it when you are not at home and find out that you are contemplating divorce and/or researching computer forensics and data recovery.
  • Once you receive a voicemail on your cell phone, delete the message so your spouse cannot get access to it. Also, delete the phone number from the incoming call log on your cell phone. If you don't, your spouse will be able to review that log each night when you are not paying attention and they will know with whom you are communicating.
  • Don't make calls from your cell phone, as they will show up on the cell phone bill, which can then be accessed by your spouse. If you call your lawyer or a computer forensic expert from your cell phone, your spouse may find out about it and remove the computer from your home or cause important data to be deleted and overwritten. Please understand that although you may not be currently living with your spouse, if they are listed on the cell phone account, they will be able to gain access to that information by simply making a phone call to the provider.
  • If your spouse moves out, then make sure you call the cell phone provider and have your spouse removed from all accounts. If that is not possible, then have the phone number moved to a new account. Follow up with the cell phone company to make sure that this was accomplished.
  • If your spouse moves out, then make sure you call the credit card company and have your spouse removed from all accounts, or open new accounts.
  • Change your work voicemail password, change your cell phone voicemail password, change your home message machine password, and change passwords for any and all email accounts.
  • Delete any old e-mail accounts and any messages that you no longer need. Make sure you check with your lawyer before deleting any information, however, as you do not want to be accused of intentional spoliation. Spoliation is the intentional deletion of potential evidence.
John Paul Lucich is an internationally recognized computer forensic expert who has been in this field for over twenty years. He is a 17 year veteran of law enforcement. John recently published a book called Cyber Lies: When Finding the Truth Matters.

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