Divorce Wizards

High Conflict Divorce Mediation

Top Ten Tips For Surviving Divorce and Separation

The Ex Files

By Shellee Moore, M.F.T.

Going through a separation or divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person can experience in a lifetime. Here are some steps to survival:

  1. Manage The Emotions - Stop the turmoil by using stress management techniques. Move from feelings to rational thinking.
  2. Avoid Making Life Altering Decisions Until You Are Thinking More Clearly - this may not be the time to relocate or change jobs.
  3. Reassure Kids That Family Life Will Continue, But In A Different Way - go to the bookstore or library to find age appropriate books to explain separation and divorce to children.
  4. Ask "Am I Acting In The Best Interest Of My Child?" - Keep arrangements as simple as possible and don't put kids in the middle.
  5. Make A Schedule - make a list and target dates to help you feel more in control and less stressed. Delegate as much as possible.
  6. Ask For Help From Supportive Family And Friends - be specific about how they can help. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP IF NECESSARY - Sometimes it's just too hard to get through this by yourself.
  7. Be Realistic - It's important to have realistic expectations and not to expect too much from yourself and everyone else when you are feeling so bad.
  8. Take Care Of Yourself - get adequate sleep, eat healthy, exercise. Give yourself a break - you deserve it. Be protective of your need for solitude.
  9. One Day At A Time - It gets easier. It gets better and hurts less as time passes. Spend time with others who understand what you're going through.
  10. Grieve The Loss - separation and divorce is devastating and it takes time to recover.
Shellee Moore, M.F.T.
20 Corporate Park, Suite 215
Irvine, CA 92606

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