Mediation is a slow and delicate process. There are lots of things you can do to make it harder -- or impossible -- if you're not careful. Here's our list of the top 10 things you can do to implode your mediation.
- Stop sending the support checks or paying the bills you agreed to pay - to make a point!
- Make a sudden move - for example, four days into your divorce, you decide to buy a new house and request your spouse release a significant sum of community funds to you for a down payment.
- Cohabit with another adult - bad move. Creates so much ill will during sensitive negotiations. What are you thinking?
- With hold visitation - to make a point - don't use your kids as leverage. Bad strategy.
- Ignore the kids. No one is born with the knowledge of how to be an effective parent.
We all learn it by trial and error. You'll learn also. Give it a try.
- Get into blame. It's over. Who cares whose fault it was? The State of California says that
neither one of you is more than fifty percent responsible for the break down of the marriage.
- Forget the Golden Rule. Take the high road in mediation. It will serve you well for a long time to come. Don't nit pick every penny.
- Don't rush the process.
- Don't dawdle to slow down the process.
- Don't let fear or greed get the best of you. Write down your plan and your budget to
be sure you will be okay financially.